Saver Wife vs Spender Husband
Posted by Cap in Personal Finance on August 23, 2006 |Could be vice versa, but in this CNN Money article, the husband sounds like a douche.
“I am a miser,” Brittany freely admits. “I’d rather have money in the bank than almost anything else.”
Not Michael. “I think that’s stupid,” he responds with a laugh. “Take the hair shirt off and live your life a little.”
Everyone will probably agree that financial issue can be a major source of tension in relationships, especially when the couples differ on their handling of finances. A part of me always wonder why people don’t work (or find) out the possible financial differences before committing to a marriage; but of course, I know next to nothing about marriage.
The Money article offers five handy tips on easing the tension. Here’s a noteworthy one, applicable to other problems besides financial issue:
Tip 4 - Schedule money dates
Talking about cash is important when you and your other half disagree, but avoid bringing it up at bedtime or when one of you is halfway out the door. Agree to rendezvous at a regular time - say, every other Wednesday, from 7 p.m. to 7:15 p.m.
Having a recurring appointment will keep you from springing money worries on your partner at inopportune moments; putting a limit on it will help you stay focused. Use this meeting to review progress toward your goals and to bring up any grievances.
Let’s face it, no body likes arguing about money (or anything else) at three in the morning.
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August 23rd, 2006 at 10:04 am
I agree about the husband. I especially liked this line: I want to drive something more in line with how much money I’m making.
Notice he didn’t mention the fact that their income fell by more than half! Does that mean they’ll need to cut back on the car? Of course not. The logic of some people.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:39 am
This is a reflection of the difference in ideologies that my wife and had before we got married. But we did discuss these things before the big day came and we merged finances. My wife likes the security of having money in the bank because she moved to CA from AZ by herself and struggled for the first year. She has finally payed off debts accrued during that time.I, on the other hand, had lived at home until I was 26 and after that lived with a friend, but was close enough to home that if I didn’t have money for food, I just mooched off my folks. If there was money in my account, I needed to find a use for it. She helped to encourage me to begin saving money for purposes other than my 401(k). So when we married we decided that the balance of our checking account would not go below a certain amount unless it was a dire emergency, and we have stuck to that as well as saving a certain percentage of our gross income to use towards long term goals like a down payment on the house. Discussing the isssues ahead of time has allowed us to avoid the fights that many newlyweds face in the first years of marriage that can often lead to divorce. Being honest about debt situations and cash flow prevent the unpleasant surprise of shortfall. In addition using tracking software such as Quicken or MS Money helps you to gauge where your money is going and where cutbacks can be made if necessary.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:50 am
This guy pisses me off. He just doesn’t think about what he is actually getting for his money. And him saying that his wife should take off her “hair shirt” and “live a little” throw up the stupid old line that you can only live a good life and have any fun if you are willing to spend money. What ever happened to having good friends and thinking staying up till 2 talking is the most fun ever? Spending money is not all there is to life!
August 23rd, 2006 at 11:04 am
This sounds like a marriage heading straight towards divorce. The first time those kids spit up inside that sizzling ride, it’s over — provided they’re even allowed inside.
August 23rd, 2006 at 2:33 pm
Here, here Kira. Although if I’m staying up till two it’s usually because of my kids :).
Also, I liked your interview with Scott over at the moneybloggerpodcast. I thought you sounded nerdy, and I mean that as the highest compliment (being a nerd myself)!
August 23rd, 2006 at 6:35 pm
What a jackass.
10 to 1 that he leaves her for a younger woman that is “more in line” with how much money he’s making.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:05 pm
They should give each other a budget on what they can spend for birthdays and Christmas. I feel that the husband spending $2500 during Christmas is a bit much.
The article has a lot of smart ideas that I’ll use.
August 23rd, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Looks like I’m not the only one who got tickled in a wrong way by this guy. Still, they may have misquoted him just to make the article a bit more sizzling, if anything. His silly remarks were also made before their income was significantly cut.
Issac makes a great point, communication is key. I still can’t imagine not working out these important details before you hitch, but eh, I’ve made my share of relationship mistakes too.
on another note, I gotta catch up with those interviews over at Money Blogger Podcast.
August 24th, 2006 at 10:55 am
What I do is have a “wish list” on the fridge.
If I want something over $50 I put it on the list. At the end of the month I evaluate and deside. What normally happens is that by the end of the month I dont really want it anymore.
August 24th, 2006 at 1:11 pm
I’m the saver, my wife is the spender. Fortunately, neither one of us care about flashy cars. I recently “hit six figures” and I drive a 6 year old Corolla. Keeping shiny, expensive cars (”sizzle” costs extra) in the driveway. Pay cash for cars that fit your needs and drive them until they don’t, and you will save a fortune compared to the person who gets a new car every 3 or 4 years.
I save money for two main reasons: I want to retire early, and I want a safety net in case something bad happens (outsourcing is a genuine threat for us programmer types). They lost half their income and burned through most of their emergency cash and had to tap home equity. If the same thing happened to us, we could last more than 10 years. But my wife looks at the account statements and says, “what’s the point of having all this money if we never get to spend it.” The notion of being abe to send our kids to college, quit our jobs in 10-15 years (we are 40) and spend the rest of our lives doing whatever we want is completely lost on her.
August 24th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
My wife & I have a similar income to these two before the move in an area with a much lower cost of living. None of my peers at work drive a car as expensive as the Jag pictured in the article, and many of them have combined incomes 50% or more higher than the couple in the article. Maybe he was misquoted, but it sure looks like the photographs back up the quotes.