Remember that IVR Cheat Sheet from awhile back? Well the handy database (on how to reach a live operator) can now be found at gethuman.com.

So I had to cancel a pre-order from BestBuy.com today. After spending over 8 minutes fiddling through the menu of Best Buy’s “Customer Care” phone system, I gave up trying to reach a live operator. This is when I remembered the IVR cheat sheet.

A quick Google search brought me to gethuman.com, and a quick scroll-down lead me to the direct-to-human telephone number for Best Buy (800‑591‑3126).

One and a half minute later, my order was cancelled without a hassle. Woot!

Gethuman.com is definitely worth a bookmark.

Funny thing, the Best Buy rep was wondering how I got the number.

“Were you transfered here from a supervisor?” asked the Best Buy CSR.

“Ah, I’m not sure how I got transfered here.”

*tehee*

_________

1. For the win

Dear USPS,

Bears do not make good mail inspectors.

Sincerely,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Customer

Seriously.

If anyone has ever signed up for a free account at Fool.com, or a trial account to access their community discussion board - you’ll know what I’m talking about.

When I first signed up, I got weekly newsletter email, which is pretty standard… but during the course of the trial period, I increasingly get more and more emails about the crazy benefits of the discussion board. Who knew after the 30 day trial period, I’ll get even more emails!

Subject: We want you back!

Imagine that, times infinity.

The contents at Fool.com are decent enough, but they need to tone down on their opt-in spam. I just got another email today, telling me they want me back—six months later!

It’s like a crazy ex-boyfriend that won’t leave you alone.

One of my major problem that I’m still working on is calling customer service.

For whatever reason it can become a nerve wrecking experience for me. I’ll get nervous before I call and I’ll get anxious while I wait for a customer service rep to pick up.

Yes. I’m a real big wuss.

Another accompanied problem that I have somewhat fixed, is that I back down too easily when my request are denied.

Let’s do a quick flash back to the year 2001.

Setting: Living room. Cell phone. Sweaty hands.

CSR: Hi, this is XYZ Ladder Inc., how may I help you today?

Cap: (hangs up immediately) Okay okay. Deep breath, you can do this. (Dials)

CSR: Freaking jackass― Hi! This is XYZ Ladder Inc., how may I help you today?

Cap: Yes, I’m having a problem with one of your ladder that I recently purchased.

CSR: Are you the one that just called?

Cap: (sheepishly) Uh, no…

CSR: So what’s the problem.

Cap: Well.. I don’t know why, but I get really nervous whenever I call customer service.

CSR: The ladder. What’s the problem with the ladder.

Cap: Oh! Sorry. Well, I was using the ladder… and it uh, sort of disintegrated into thin air. I fell pretty hard to the floor.

CSR: Listen very closely. I don’t care. Some jerk called earlier and hung up on me. I am pissed. You’re the moron that bought a ladder that’s made out of bubbles. It clearly says on the box that: “This ladder is made out of bubbles.” So don’t ever call us again, you hear me!?

Cap: (whimpering) Okay.

. . .

I eventually worked out my problem with backing down too easily. These days I stick with my firm belief that, when I buy a ladder, I expect it to hold my weight - regardless of the materials it’s made with.

Customer service reps are people too. So I usually try to not get angry at them. It also wouldn’t do me any good if I start screaming at them. If a particular CSR is not being very helpful, I usually just try again later. Depending on the way you talk to them, you’ll eventually reach a CSR that’s wiling to solve your problem.

The problem is the pre-anxiety before I call. I suppose it’s because I’m not looking forward to confrontation, which results in delaying the eventual phone call - an obvious drawback, as we all know that the faster you contact customer service regarding a problem, the more likely you’ll receive a favorable resolution.

So far my method of tackling the problem is to just simply call, call, call. If there’s a problem, I make a note of it and tell myself to call customer service at a reasonable time (or right away). If I wuss out and don’t call - I punch myself in the face.

There’s probably a better solution out there.

Back in January I received a new chair as a Christmas gift. For a short period of time, my butt was in heaven - it was one happy camper.

Now I’m not a heavy person, but within a one month period, the seat cushion has somehow magically disappeared. Evaporated, per se. The only thing left behind is the groove of my beautiful behind.

Needless to say, when it comes to the welfare of my butt, I take immediate and prompt action! So, a few days later I called the customer service included with the warranty card, and told them my woes.

The CSR asked for the model number, my name and address.

“Okay sir, we’ll be sending you a new seat cushion. You’ll receive it in about 7 to 10 business days.”

“Uh, okay. Thanks!”

That was easy.

No proof of order, silly red tape, or transferring of calls. I’m pleasantly surprised and confused.

Being the pessistimic person that I am, I now believed that I have been tricked and that the CSR was only pretending to be typing down my information.

Guess I’ll find out in 7-10 business days.

At least, to me anyway.

No minimum balance my ass.

They closed my account without warning because my balance has reached $0, where according to the CSR, it was closed “automatically.” Here’s a fun final statement:

Clicky click

Yup. You read that right.

Interest Bearing Days = 25, Average Daily Balance = $13,000+, and Interest Earned = $0.

About a week ago I transferred the majority of my money from Emigrant to ING, to take advantage of ING’s higher promotional rate. A day or so after the withdrawals, I could no longer access my account.

I called Emigrant Direct. They told me to email them and request for a password reset. I emailed them, and they told me they’ll be happy to reset my password, just call the customer service support.

Uhh…

So I started to suspect that they closed my account, and when I came across Jonathan’s recent post, I knew right away that they had indeed closed my account.

It took four additional calls for someone to give me the real answer. CSR told me there’s a minimum of $1. They closed my account and because the account was closed before interest was credited, I’m not getting the interest for the 25 days. According to the CSRs, my account was also reopened. I didn’t even request it. They closed my account automatically before interest is credited, then reopen it soon afterwards.

Geez thanks.

I hardly rate chase, but I also haven’t been with Emigrant for long, so I can understand that from a business perspective, I’m not a profitable customer and there’s little reason to keep me. No biggie, I understand. In fact, for some reason, I’m not even that mad about the interest lost. Probably because I should have known better.

Still, spouting no minimum while requiring one is rather annoying. I mean, $0 and $1 is not a big deal, but please be upfront about it. If you have a policy of “automatically” closing accounts with $0, tell us! At the very least, hide it somewhere in your account disclosures, or terms and condition. It’s not even there!

Kinda funny how they spend the time & money sending out those silly hats, thanking people for their business - but when their customers balance reach $0, they drop them like pancakes.

Anyway, I’ve been working on a full Emigrant Direct review… I’ll try to remain objective as I finish up the review. heh.

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