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Archived Posts from Totally Crap

Dances, kisses, hands out business cards... everything a real 'girlfriend' would do.

  • Sega’s E.M.A – Eternal Maiden Actualization (uh.. right), or WowWee FemiSapien… or whatever the heck it’s gonna be branded as.
  • $175 or $99 depending on which online specialty retailer is going to screw you over.
  • Dances, kisses, walks like a “lady,” and hands out business card — just like a “real” girlfriend (uh, because I’m sure that’s all the other half of the human race does).
  • Wow your friends or reinforce your hermit lifestyle by scaring away what little friends you have left.

If it doesn't eat puppies, it's not worth buying.

Tough to hate on a “life form” that probably had lots of engineering going into it, but… eh.

  • Spend all or half of your stimulus check (if you’ve received one) and spice up the economy the true American way.
  • $349 for an hour and half of incredible fun time. Add another $49 for an extra battery for even more joy (three hours of charging required).
  • One up your divorced partner by showering your kid with not one, but two Pleo.
  • Help Sharper Image avoid bankruptcy by buying in volumes (oh wait…).
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Super Creepy?

  • The very first So Truly Real collectible vinyl doll that “breathes.”
  • With RealTouch™ vinyl skin, hand-applied hair, hand-painted fingernails and toenails.
  • Special new ways to creep out your future partner.
  • “Ashely” is dressed in a newborn’s hospital tee-shirt, warm cap and a tiny diaper.
  • Spice up your Friday night by running through local hospital’s maternity ward, carrying “Ashely” and screaming: “I got the baby, I got the baby!”
  • Certificate of Authenticity (aka Certificate of Insanity).
  • Only $129.99 (S&H of $13.99) or 5 installments of $26.00.

Super creepy.

From [The Digerati Life].

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Got this in an email ten years ago, thanks Mr.X! (sorry couldn’t find the email)

Never forget to feed your fish!

  • Three-piece Aquarium Tank
  • Dual-Filter System With Pump
  • LED-Light System (zomg!)
  • Two Nine-inch Artificial Plants
  • New way to find out how much your poo stinks.

All for $450. Sweet.

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Uh, right.

  • Novelty for you or gag gift for a friend.
  • The DVD Rewinder will spin discs backwards and plays a “rewind” sound.
  • You can also record your own “rewind” sound which provides unending possibilities.

Argh. Give me a break. What a waste of money.

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Being a geek has never been so good.Buy me, you will. Clicky click

Clicky click

Clicky click

But, you know the name of the site.

Sniff, oh well.