Ever Got Depression from Your Finances?
Posted by Cap on June 18, 2007 |I believe I’m fairly fortunate in that I’ve only been depressed a few times — maybe once or twice in my life. (And by depress, I mean seriously depressed that it affected my daily life.) So perhaps I’m not exactly a good example, but my point is that I have never been depressed about my personal finance before.
For my regular five readers, you would remember that I was in debt (only about 10k). The debt certainly gave me stress and anxiety, but it never bother me enough to cause depression.
I was talking to a friend over the weekend and long story short, he was seriously depressed about his finances. His debt is getting out of control, he worries about making ends meet, and he feels entirely overwhelmed and powerless.
Things brighten up a little bit after we talked for a bit and I shared my experiences and he shared his… but of course as anyone with debt knows, the concepts in reducing the debt is simple enough, while accomplishing it is another story.
Have you ever been depressed due to your finances? What did you do about it? How did you get out of it, or are you still in it?
Although I was depressed due to a completely different matter, I’m fairly certain depression can be alleviate (if somewhat) by opening up to people that care about you. Certainly, bottling it up all inside and dealing with it alone is not a solution in getting out of a depression.
Depression from finances does have a sore point — no matter how much you talk to someone about it, it probably won’t fix the underlying problems until you start taking action to repair or amend the financial problems.
Tough situation, I’d say.
19 Comments to “Ever Got Depression from Your Finances?”
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June 18th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I am a college student with no support, and currently no job. I am trying to suppress my desperation at job interviews. My parents are there for emergencies, but I don’t like to ask them for money. Each day I have a mini-breakdown because I don’t have anything lined up, no matter how hard I try. Normally I’m a pretty happy person, but I feel helpless in the face of mounting money problems. I don’t know where I could find help for this, since therapists require money, and at this point I can’t even buy socks that don’t have holes in them. My boyfriend and roommates know about my finacnial straights–my boyfriend’s even volunteered to lend me money for rent, which I’ll probably need. Does anyone have advice for me, that doesn’t involve “just work harder to find a job”?
June 18th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
hey Pale, wanted to give you a quick response since I haven’t pass out yet. your problem is very common and I can definitely relate.
first, I commend you for not relying on your parents for help, but sometimes it may be okay to ask for a little financially help (especially if they can afford to help, or you have a mindset to pay them back).
as you said, blanket statements such as “work harder to find a job” won’t really solve a problem, but I hope you’ll keep at it, as in my experience, perseverance and patience does pay off.
you are a college student, and although the academic career isn’t the only thing that defines you, you should take steps to not let money get in the way of your studies.
here are some random suggestions, and I sincerely hope you look into each of my opinion with more of your own research before you take any sort of plunge (as everyone’s situation is different).
if you can’t find a practical way to increase your income (getting a job that can pay for your expenses), you should consider cutting down your expenses. jot down list of monthly bills, and start picking out the ones that are truly unnecessary (at least, during this difficult time). I can’t assume what sort of things you may have, but sometimes getting rid of services such as cable television can add up significantly in expense reduction overtime.
anyway, that may not really be a solution if you’re already living a basic, frugal life. (you don’t really sound like you’re spending all your money and complaining about it).
I would suggest looking into student loans, seeking scholarship, and/or grants if you haven’t already. talk to your school’s financial aid office for more information on the choices available to you.
owing money to people sucks, owing money to people with interest sucks even more… but student loans are made available because going into debt for your education, in my opinion, is entirely worth it. Just be mindful of how much debt you can take on, you wouldn’t want to graduate without a job prospect (or a job that can’t pay back the debt). Check out this post on the cost of financial education for some other things you should think about before committing to student loans.
hang in there and good luck.
June 18th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
I’ve never been depressed because of personal finances, even when I was jobless and behind on various payments by 6 months.
I have been through a couple of bouts of depression that left me in bed for months at a time though. It’s a pretty bleak time, but they can get through it!
Sometimes a good pep talk can help. Sometimes medication. Sometimes just a group of friends around you and supporting you is the best thing.
Just make sure it doesn’t turn suicidal.
June 18th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Depression can happen, it has happened to me.
It seems to happen when I don’t look at the day to day and instead let the overwhelming amount of debt ‘eat me alive’ by dwelling on it.
I have found that breaking it down into ‘bite size’ pieces does seem to calm the nerves. Then I would have to evaluate what I’m holding onto that would be helping me out of the situation- get out of my comfort zone.
June 19th, 2007 at 5:47 am
I’ve been depressed about my finances, but it causes me to stop looking at them. And don’t get me wrong: my debt (not counting student loans, but counting credit cards and car loans) is only about $10,000. That’s really not very much at all. However, when I know I’ve been spending too much money and I know I’m not moving towards some of my financial goals (such as accumulating enough for a downpayment on a home) I can’t bring myself to look at my finances. I’ll withdraw money from an ATM without getting a receipt, I’ll pay bills without checking my account balances, and I’ve never been able to keep a check register. Something about watching money come and go and knowing that over a month I spent 46.20 on Starbucks in a month and 200 at the bar with friends makes me sick to my stomach so I avoid it as much as possible.
June 19th, 2007 at 6:43 am
You can ladder your investments, so try laddering your job. Start with something you know you can get…McDonalds or the local gas station. Work there to get things rolling. You never know where leads may come from. If you are at all savvy, epmloyers will realize you are underemployed and will try to make the best use of your skills. This often leads to new opportunities that you never would have gotten before. Customers are often another source of leads. You can always keep looking while you work.
You may not like this advice, but it works and you won’t end up homeless.
June 19th, 2007 at 7:59 am
Jason – As bizarre as this sounds, I do the exact same thing! I try to ignore my finances when they get out of whack. So glad that I’m not the only one. Although, I can’t do that anymore. Its caught up with me. :(
Pale – I have so lived your life! The first thing you need to do is a some sort of income that will suit your schedule also, preferably non-taxed. This sounds hokie, but try baby-sitting, dog-walking, cleaning houses, whatever! Just get some cash in your pocket to help you make ends meet. Then, have a trusted person sit down and look at your budget – other people can very often see places you can cut out that you can’t see. Don’t have your b-friend or roomies do this – they have a personal stake in it so they can’t be objective (like canceling the cable would affect them…). Also, buy nothing without coupons – there are some amazing coupons sharing and discount code sites. These steps should be all of your time this week. Lay out the plan and then start to implement it. There are some other great personal finance blogs out there that have software and tools for free that will help you get started (that’s often the hardest step). Cap can point you in the right direction or if you are interested – respond and I can list them out. Once you have a solid plan to pull you out of the day-to-day you will have a brighter outlook and that will be conveyed in your interviews – which will help you get a job!! Good luck. Keep us posted.
June 19th, 2007 at 8:22 am
Only a couple of times.
First time was fresh out of school. Got my first job, got an apartment, and moved away from home. Was making a pittance to start with. My budget was tight and I had to be very careful about what I spent money on. I favored making large meals that I could then refrigerate and reheat parts of throughout the week. Then suddenly, my student loan bills showed up…early. That was short lived as I found out it was a mixup due to a transfer during college.
The more problematic time was getting laid off from a dotcom 2 months after I bought a house and got engaged. My ex-fiancee found it unacceptable that I should be depressed over this, so decided to go bang some guy she met stocking shelves at Lowe’s. This did not (shockingly) help the depression. I made a lightning fast re-assessment of my finances, though. Applied for unemployment and cut out all non-necessities. Luckily I had a decent amount of savings. I was able to land a temporary spot in a contract job for good money while I kept looking.
Then, after the contract job was up and I was in a permanent position, I decided to sue my ex-fiancee for some money she owed me. I won. That helped with the depression AND the finances. :-)
June 19th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
i never realized depression and finances were so closely connected. makes perfect sense!!! :)
June 19th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Thank you Cap, and everyone, for your advice. I’m very frugal, we don’t have a TV or a lot of other luxuries. Pretty much my only bills are rent, utilities, food, cell phone (my only phone), and credit cards (I have about $500). I’m trying not to add to that debt, which is mostly from books from last semester and emergencies. But that’s hard, because this *is* an emergency, and pretty much the only way I can buy food. I have been paying the minimums though–I know how important that is. Under normal circumstances, I pay at least twice the minimum, if I can’t pay it all off. Though I am new to this site, I’ve been reading personal finance blogs for about 6 months, and it’s helped.
I’ve been selling my books and CDs online, but I haven’t made much of a difference yet. I am applying to everywhere I can, not just the office jobs that I’d prefer to have. I even registered with a temp agency today. Every day, I am pounding the pavement and looking online, there just aren’t a whole lot of jobs since I live in a college town that gets quiet in the summer.
As for financial aid, I don’t qualify for grants or loans because of my parents’ income, but they’re unwilling to pay what the gov’t says they should. They are willing to help in emergencies though, and I’ll be hitting them up soon, lol. I will look into student loans though.
Thanks for all your advice, and sorry to turn this into the “about-me” thread.
June 21st, 2007 at 9:43 am
The way I figured out how to get out of being depressed about my finances was to go buy something else. I did that for many years and no matter how much I stressed about my money problems I always thought of something else to buy.
I finally realized how ridiculous I was being and got my act together. I realized I would rather have security then junk around me.
June 22nd, 2007 at 10:43 am
I’m not as young as some of you guys — in my thirties. Generally, I’m pretty secure with money. I’m not a spender, I’m putting money away for retirement and my day to day bills are generally managable. However, I have limited spending money but try to have fun. What gets me depressed is just when I think I have a pretty good handle, there comes a bunch of hits to my budget I had no idea would happen. An emergency room visit (for 1 hour for Croup with my daughter), will end up costing me over $600. And I have insurance! My house insurance is increasing by more than $200 starting July. My taxes have gone up by almost $3K since 5 years ago. How much more can my budget take? All this stuff gets me depressed. I think of the little I have left over now, and to think it’s going to be sucked out of my pocket one way or another gets me down.
Otherwise – I’m a real cheerful person ;>
For Pale, please try not to feel under the gun. It must be hard, but you are living pretty frugally and eventually you will get work. What I would do to calm down is write down everything you owe PLUS everything you would owe if you didn’t work for a whole year (not saying that’s your plan), but just to look at that number. It’s probably less scary than you think. I always like to keep in my mind the worst case scenario and work backwards from there.
Once you get your job, if you continue to live frugally, that debt will be reduced pretty easily. Don’t feel desperate, you will be fine. Whenever I think back to college I always regret not taking MORE loans (I didn’t take any). I was so afraid to get into debt that I refused to go anywhere but a state college and worked ridiculous amounts of hours to pay for it all while going to school. I made practically nothing money-wise and was always running like a maniac to get to school. That was dumb. Money before college and after college are totally different. I would have been able pay back all my entire state education in the first year of my real job, and I would have enjoyed going to school much more. My point is — don’t be desperate, what seems like a lot of debt now is not really that much.
June 22nd, 2007 at 5:20 pm
I’ve been very depressed the past six months, but mildly the last two years, since I don’t have a job and am still living at home. I know what my friends are making and feel I should be at least self-sufficient, and on my own, or married with kids. None of this is possible right now.
On the bright side? I have two degrees, and no debt.
June 22nd, 2007 at 9:59 pm
Thanks for your encouragement everyone! I found a job! I’ll be sure to continue to live frugally–I already have plans to get rid of my credit card debt and rebuild my emergency fund :)
June 27th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
well i wouldnt call it depression but i get down or sad about my finances from time to time… like if someone would have told me the true cost of going to college, i would have gone to a state school and not had 100k in student loans, or if i made 5k more a year i could save so much more and reach my goals and be closer to being debt free… its like i read all these tips and i want to take the advise but i get sad that i cant coz i dont have an extra 100 to put into savings or i cant get a 0% credit card transfer coz my score is too low…. on top of that i am in between jobs at the moment and thats making me sad 2
July 9th, 2007 at 9:49 am
I know the post is aging, but I wanted to reply. Stumbled on the site today via the Budgeting Babe site links…and I love your writing. Anyway…
24 years old, left an okay job to start my own greenhouse 1500 miles away from pretty much all emotional support systems. Don’t ask why it sounded like a good idea at the time. With school loans, credit card debt, a family loan of 25K to start up…my support system in town talked me into taking out more debt. When I was living on 400 bucks a month…barely…and working crappy jobs in the off-season for 900/mo with a college degree…I WAS depressed. Took me a few months to just dig out and keep making ends meet. My parents helped with the credit card debt and I pay them, interest free now. Depression is something you definitely need to keep at bay to keep from sticking your head in the sand and not clawing your way out of the debt and depression. Try consumer credit counseling or something, anything, to get out if you can…
September 20th, 2010 at 10:32 am
How about a 37 year old who has screwed up badly and tries to get out of the past but can’t. Money is right neck and neck with health. Without it, life sucks. Bad credit ruins your life. I know. I feel like dying
November 30th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
I feel so down about my finances. I have this one friend that rubs it in that she is great with money. When people talk that way I feel like flipping out on them. My financial situation is so bad that I want to take my own life. I feel so depressed that I can’t control my finances. They say money is the root of all evil. I want to kill myself so I can get out of this evil World! I AM GOING TO HEAVEN! Once you find me dead, I am not going to care where you send me. I will come back and exorcist everyone! You will have wave sage to get rid of me! I just can’t control money anymore. I don’t want to live anymore! I was at the temporary assistance office today, I was feeling worse instead of feeling better. I told them I am looking forward to living in a garbage dumpster or living in my car. I came close to saying that I want to take my own life. I almost wanted to scream it at them. The day I am evicted, that will be the day I will leave in a bodybag. I’d rather be committed for life because at least I have a place to live and someone gets paid to watch over me 24 hours a day. I totally agree that bad credit ruins your life. I want to die. No one wants you when you have bad credit. Employers, landlords,family, no one. I am better off dead! I am crying out for help. I hope someone hears me before it is too late. I am scared. I am a financial failure! I screwed up with credit cards.
Credit cards are evil. I can’t take it anymore! I get discouraged very easily. I feel like everything is hopeless.