Ever Got Screwed Financially by a Family Member?
Posted by Cap in Even More Ramblings |I was reading some comments for the identity theft story post at the Mint blog, and boy there are some tough situations out there.
We have comments about identity theft from moms and sisters — pretty difficult stuff.
Have you ever been screwed financially by a family member? It doesn’t necessarily have to be an identity theft situation.
I think I’m extremely fortunate that I’ve never been harmed financially by any famiy member (at least, not that I’m aware of). If it ever happens, I will most likely know how to deal with it practically, but emotionally… eh.
10 Comments to “Ever Got Screwed Financially by a Family Member?”
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August 1st, 2007 at 12:03 pm
No.. but I foresee it in the future when my parents start asking me for retirement money and I can’t afford to support them AND my own family.
Husband’s father got screwed in credit score AND the wallet, when lending cash to a nephew… the nephew ran off with the money and never came back to repay it.
August 2nd, 2007 at 9:46 am
The son of my grandmother’s late husband A)pried money from the dead man’s hand and B)immediately ran to the bank and forged a check for $12,000 (which, rumor has it, he snorted).
Imagine: stealing money from an old lady, your father’s wife (to whom he had been married for more than 20 years!).
And my grandmother refused to press charges.
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:40 am
No. But it’s looming. I may be the most fiscally responsible person in my “family” circle. I’m the ant to many grasshoppers (and ants that have learned to act like grasshoppers too much).
Most concerning is my girlfriend’s step father who is a total nincompoop about money. Always with some scheme to get rich. He blew her mom’s 401K on day trading, doesn’t earn a paycheck himself (mooches). When a nephew started an IRA at 18 years of age, he denounced it as “just plain stupid”. I see that mentality coming to bear on us in the not too distant future.
August 4th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
When I was 19 and buying my 1st (used) car, I had the money to pay cash for it, but decided to get a small loan to pay part of the cost and establish a credit history. Found out that when my sisters and I were little, Mommy dearest had all the utilities put in each of our names in succesion, and then when they were shut off, moved it to the next kids name.
August 11th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
probably the closest i came to a family member would be the mother of my step son (notice i did not say my husband ex-wife, because they were never married).
she claimed that she didn’t get child support from the father of her first child causing my husband to pay a hardship to her, and she lied about how much she actually paid in daycare causing my husband to pay 1/2 of the bill even though she wasn’t paying all of it.
so, we got screwed for a year until we could prove she was lying. oh, and when child support is based in the amount of time each parent spends with the child, she said she’d allow more time as long as CS was based upon a lesser share for my husband.
he ended up paying what was right after about a year. that was $440 less per month, and because of the daycare lies he was allowed to pay that directly to the daycare instead of to the mom as child support.
September 6th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Not me. Some people in a church group I belonged to had cosigned a loan for one of their adult children (they didn’t say which) and the “child” had defaulted, leaving them to pay the whole thing. They’d gone in with the child’s assurance (which they firmly believed) that they could do fine on the loan but didn’t have a good enough credit history. Not pretty.
April 5th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
ME!! My parents did the old “We need to borrow some money because we had a glitch in our bank account” along with a bunch of other reasons. They also needed a car and wanted us to co-sign on a loan. Knowing their track record we figured it would be less hassle to buy them the car (used, not new) and have them make payments to us. They made a few payments here and there, but not nearly enough. I really didn’t want to get monthly calls from the bank or ruin my own credit by signing a piece of paper with their names on it.
Oh, and to make it even more fun, they did this type of thing to other family members but have compartmentalized all of us to not “share” with others.
I finally put my foot down and said “NO MORE” and then they showed up here for Christmas needing money for their hotel or else they would be forced to take a bus home in the middle of December (2 states away). And did I mention that my dad is handicapped and in a wheel chair and cannot talk?
When we said no, they said they would have to go home. Of course they were super put out and angry. That was my mom’s way of trying to get us to change our minds and give them the money. Oh, sorry… I mean “LOAN” (I use quotes for a reason). I finally told all my siblings what has been going on for years and to the tune of tens of thousands and it turns out I’m not the only one who “got screwed by a family member!!!!”
Now they’re “hurt” and saying horrible ugly things, at least when they’re actually talking to us.
And when I say “they” I should be saying “her” because my poor dad is not at fault.
In case you’re wondering how things turned out, my generous husband bought them 2 one way plane tickets home for Christmas and told them to go get help.
I am googling this and other things to try to find someone who has actually had this happen to them before. This is the closest I have found. I know people who have been screwed by their irresponsible twenty something kids, but not their senior citizen parents.
December 19th, 2010 at 9:31 pm
Yup.. Got shafted by my financially irresponsible dad. Ever since i can remember it’s been “get rich quick schemes” and the like. he worked at a factory earlier this year and i had already bailed my parents (mostly him) out before because i felt bad for my mom and she hated his management as much as i did. He got the bright idea of making a bunch of money fast by hauling travel trailers for a transport company.. He pulled the bleeding heart card on me saying he needed 3000 dollars to get the truck to haul the campers. Apparently that was his downpayment. Lord knows he was never able to keep money around due to the more than 80,000 in credit card debt he had racked up over the years. Anyway, he said he’d have me “paid back in full” by october. October came and went not a dime. It’s almost January now, and there is still no money. He sold the truck for way less than what he bought it for, thus the money i gave him was irrelevant now. Oh and did i mention the fact that i had a joint bank account with his name on it? yeah that was a bad fricken idea. apparently the credit card companies can take my money as well as his. they garnished almost 900 in my checking account earlier this summer, so in full he owes me 3800.
So now we’re seling our house. We purchased it in 2000 for 135k. We put it up for sale one month ago and after 10 YEARS of paying on the mortgage, it’s actually 50k more than it was when we bought the house. The payoff on the mortgage is currently roughly 185k. How the hell does that happen?!?!?!?!?! We got what we were asking for the house which is 205k. When i confronted him about getting my money for what he owes me from the extra that will be left after the payoff of the mortgage he basically blew me off and said they’ll need that for a downpayment on our next place. What am i supposed to do? I have no leverage whatsoever on him, and he’s my dad so i’ll look like the bad guy if i’d even consider taking him to small claims court. And yet he’s the one who screwed ME over! I worked and saved and was responsible with my money, it took me almost 3 months to accumulate that savings and it was gone in one day. I’m not expecting to see it again. If ANYONE has any suggestions on what i should do, please post. This has caused a huge riff between us for the past 5 months, and i don’t know what the hell i’m supposed to do. Thanks for letting me vent. Any suggestions please post
March 14th, 2011 at 12:15 pm
My mother bought me a 2007 Pontiac G6 in October, 2007. She got the car from my brother in law’s family who deals in used cars and this one was previously wrecked but they fixed it. She said she would pay for half of the car as a Christmas present and the other half I could make payments to her and not be charged any interest on the loan. Sounded great to me.
I made my monthly payments and then in February of 2008 when I got my income tax check I just gave it all to her and paid the whole amount left. I trusted her but she never gave me a bill of sale or the title to the car. I have talked to her a couple of times about this because if I wanted to trade it in I can’t because she has the title written with my name on it and her name as the Lien Holder. She told me that she didn’t trust me and that I may go to Title Max and pawn my car title!!! I’m like WTF? That is my only set of wheels and I’ve been working at the same company since 1993 and have a 9 year old son. I would never do anything like that to risk losing my car. When I mentioned the fact that I could not trade the car in if I want to one day (which I don’t plan on doing anytime soon because it’s paid for) she told me she didn’t buy me that car to trade in on a gas guzzling pick up truck. That’s another issue. My father died in 2005 and I was driving his Dodge Dakota and she sold it for a little of nothing to my brother in law to make money off. Now I do need a truck just to haul stuff in and she’s remarried so her new husband has a truck. I would have bought it from her. It’s real tough for me because me and my son was living with my mom & dad when I got a divorce and when he died me and my son found him. When she got married 2-1/2 years ago, she told us we could move into his town home and pay all the bills but they wouldn’t let me pay any rent. They claimed the stock market causing the real estate to drop was the reason he didn’t sell it but I have had to spend alot of money to fix that place up to be “livable” for me and my son because it was just nasty. He didn’t even get his stuff out and she wanted me to hurry and move our stuff in.Now, all the tools and things that my dad worked hard to get all his life belongs to my step father now. I had to borrow my dad’s pressure wash the siding on the house which was moldy. I feel weird having to ask him to borrow my dads things. All he left as far as tools at his place was a hammer, screwdriver, some nails, tape measurer and an empty little tool box. Weedeater is broke and after dad died my boss gave us a John Deere weedeater and edger because I was doing all the yardwork and he felt sorry for us so now that belongs to my step dad I guess. I wondered where his tools were but he lucked up and moved into a quarter million dollar house that has a whole big basement full of tools and equipment that belonged to my father. When I got the pressure washer, he was telling me stuff like “Don’t break it…make sure you turn the water on before you crank it or it will blow up the motor” etc… I’m not that stupid. I’m starting to get scared that when I get that place looking real good on the outside, they may decide to sell it then we will be out in the street trying to find a cheap apartment.
Like I said I have tried talking to her about the title in a nice friendly manner and she always ends up getting defensive on me and totally refusing to give up the title. Also, when a person dies in Alabama and everything goes to the wife and they get married, am I right by saying that whatever is hers is his? She even gave hers and my fathers bed and dresser drawers that they always had as far as I can remember (and I’m 38)to her husband’s brother. I got stuck with step-dad’s bed with a warped mattress just like the couch me and my friend tried to haul to goodwill and they wouldn’t even take it so that I could put one I wanted in there. My ex husband kept most everything I had bought for his house so I’m having to start from new and don’t have ANYTHING in my name!
June 12th, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I have a good one for you. My parents-in-law have been the most fiscally irresponsible people their entire lives. They have good incomes, a military pension, social security has started for one of them, and they owned a family built house outright. They double mortgaged the house for money to spend and never repaid either loan, took out a hundred credit cards and ran them all up then failed to make the payments so they went into default rates, they bought various “collections” of coins, stamps, guns, plates, etc..mostly with credit (none of which are worth more than what they paid, most are now worth less). Then they declared personal bankruptcy and named my husband and two of his student loans in their court filing as their own debt that they won’t be able to pay (they have never had to pay a dime for my husband’s schooling). They defaulted two of his student loans now by including them, and have left us holding the bag for paying off 16,000 dollars immediately with no payment plan. This has also ruined my husband’s credit and pretty much forced us to nearly deplete our savings. Now that we are not in contact with them they are telling all of our extended family that we cut them off over the fact that they are too poor for us to talk to. Pretty much a nightmare.