Also be aware of the comparative financial status of the friend. If you’re a two-MD family making fairly decent dollars, it might be unreasonable to ask for free services from a even close friend who makes far less (say a teacher who bakes wedding cakes on the side, or who tutors kids for the SAT). Much as your friend loves you, if you chatter on about your fabulous BMW when your friend drives a 10 y/o Hyundai (not that there’s anything wrong with Hyundais!), maybe you *should* feel guilty.

Mostly I’m not good at freebies, I’d rather pay..but I’m working on being more gracious at accepting these offers. A good friend once offered to sell our house and return her commission to us, but I wouldn’t let her. Work is work, I did accept when she lowered her percentage rate. Plus now, she gets free relaxation sessions from me whenever I visit her and she answers my real esate questions when they arise.
Years ago people would ask me for baked goods in exchange for their work..you never know what might mean more to someone. Homemade sticky buns send some people over the moon.

I wouldn’t let my brother clean my carpets for free, he owns hte business,…then he wouldn’t accept money so I got him a gift card to a lovely restaturant.

Question, here’s a triangle favor, a friend wants to call in a favor from a professional photographer to take a headshot of me for my website. I’m unsure about taking a free/favor from someone I don’t even know, now if they let me pay them something. or bake them something….hhmmmm. Would love to know what other people think about that.

Jess

But I would assume that future appointments will not be offered for free. When he recommends additional service, politely ask, how much does that cost?

For me, the ‘what do friends do’ question is answered by supporting each other, not taking advantage of each other. Have you sent other friends to him when they need a dentist? I like it when I have friends who perform a service I need or others need so I can recommend them or hire them myself.

This kind of networking opens doors to learning about random and cool things and builds your relationships as it shows respect for the work your friends do.

Kinda like a link- back!

; )

http://hereverycentcounts.blogspot.com

B) we tend to take the skills we have for granted. Like someone else pointed out, “BitTorrent” is a strange, unworkable concept for some.

I’m also very friendly with my OB and she’s helped me out a lot since I’ve been full-time job hunting most of the time I’ve known her.

I pay both of these folks fees for appointments but they also help with lots of free samples and advice for cheaper-but-good-quality options.

However, after I saw how often he was being taken advantage of, I stopped doing that. I’m his friend and I didn’t want to abuse the privilege. Oh, I’ll ask his advice or ask him to look at something, to see if he knows what’s wrong, but I won’t ask him to spend his time fixing it. And if he offers, which he has, I turn him down.

Quick example: I still to this day keep in touch with the volunteers that came to the ms coast. They delivered us food every day after hurricane k. They would be completely offended if I ever tried to offer to repay them now. There is nothing wrong with giving.

Now if it’s someone asking another for freebies, I don’t believe it’s right; don’t take what you haven’t been offered.

You should take him to a restaurant, bar or something and pay ;). Remember that he is still paying for the tools and stuff he is using on you.

A realtor pulling a few comps doesnt really count; sure its work, but it takes all of 5 mins and anyway, most realtors would happily pull a bunch of comps for anyone)

Now if the friend is giving some advice totally unbiased advice, pointing you in the right direction etc…, insiders tips, setting up connection, then thats what friends do.

The other factor is, would you have had this work/service done regardless of your friends skills. Were you going to do this dental work anyway ? Did it really need doing ? If yes, then I feel you should pay.

I think the dental situ. is clear cut;
But then there are many shades of grey here…..setting up a bit torrent is one of them !

Here, the bit torrent is something he probably simply wouldnt have done; but then again, its real work ! I tend to put this is the, ‘buy a nice dinner or bottle of wine/couple of beers’ category.

For ex: I have a friend who’s a real estate agent. I’ve asked him to pull comps, list something on MLS or use his resources to screen a tenant for my rental. No prob. Later, he may ask me a favor in my area of expertise. No prob. Not sure if the services are financially comparable, but I’ve never thought about it. Same goes for my other friends, an IRS auditor, investment banker, housing specialist, boutique owner, and computer programmer. We help each other. That’s what “real friends” do.

he’s appreciative, and i get to show my appreciation.

Second of all, people like to help their friends. It makes them feel good.

Third, despite what I just said, I often feel guilty in this kind of situation, too. Sometimes I have to remind myself that if my friend found out I needed something and didn’t ask him for help, he might feel upset.

That said, I have heard of people in certain professions getting harassed all the time for free services. Still, as long as your friend is offering, and especially if you feel like he could stop offering at any time guilt free, then in the meantime, you should go for it.

And have more communication! In this case, your friend offered you anesthetic. You could have said, “Oh, I am already using too many of your resources.” Then he might have thought to say earlier on that he would feel better with you taking that option anyway. It’s very tricky!

And make sure you still ask plenty of questions about why your friend is recommending things, even though you don’t have to worry about fraud. There still may be better options for you sometimes.