How I Made the Most Money I’ve Ever Made in My Life But Still Felt Miserable
Posted by Cap on April 6, 2010 |About a month or two ago as the tax income forms started flying in via snail mail, I downloaded my free tax software from Turbo Tax and began the annual 3-month long process of filing my taxes. As I sat by my desk and dug through mounds of ancient unopened envelopes, I suddenly noticed something incredibly odd about the Excel sheet on my computer screen.
One.. two… three… four… and five.
Odd. That’s five digits.
I blinked and counted again.
No mistake. For the month of March 2009, I made a little bit over $10,000.
“Wow. Now if only I make that much every month,” I thought to myself. “I’ll be able to sit back, relax, scratch my butt, and be a baller.”
You may recall that I don’t really budget. Any money I make via websites, consulting, projects, etc. gets funneled to my checking accounts, and once every 2-3 months (or whenever I’m not lazy), I tally the ballpark amount up and spit them into an Excel sheet for future reference. On some months (when I was still in school full-time), my earnings are around minimum wage level, and on other months I make a healthy five figure income. It all somehow manages to even out to a stable enough income where I can pay the bills and help the family out.
What really surprised me about March 2009 wasn’t the fact that I made a lot of money (relatively speaking for me), but it was the fact that I felt completely miserable during that very particular month.
So why did I felt miserable? Without going into an elaborate tale about how I failed as a human bean (mmm… I love beans), the misery was mostly due to various personal reasons, and not particularly because I was being a workaholic.
Upon reflecting that glorious month, I’ve realized a few things:
- I am almost certain that even more money wouldn’t have made that month any better. You could be spitting money at me, rubbing it all over my sexy body and I’d still feel pretty damn gross (okay that reads pretty gross too).
- What makes you happy or content in life isn’t money. It never really will be. Money, of course, does afford us plenty of opportunities and options in life. This is a fact that I can’t deny. However, what will truly make most people I know happy isn’t cold-hard cash, but rather the quality time they spend with friends and family.
Consider this: when its payday and we receive our paycheck, some of us may carry a smile that day. Is it truly because we’re now X dollar richer? Or are you thinking about the things you can do with the money?
To be sure, many people aren’t always thinking about the happy things and experiences they can share with family and friends when payday arrives. They breathe a sigh of relief because there’s now enough money to pay the utility bill or to put food on the table for the week. There’s no escaping the fact that money will have a direct tie to the quality of life people can experience and enjoy.
Despite this, I can almost guarantee to you that for those of us that may be having it rough, for the many working poor and people that may be struggling, many of our fondest memories won’t be the day when we receive a paycheck from X company, but rather its the day when Uncle Bob accidentally sets the grill on fire at the family picnic; the day when the rental car broke down while you’re on vacation but everyone managed to have a blast regardless; the day when your child took their first step; or simply that day when all the right people are around, and as you sit back to relax and chat with loved ones, not a single thought about money is on your mind.
13 Comments to “How I Made the Most Money I’ve Ever Made in My Life But Still Felt Miserable”
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April 6th, 2010 at 9:11 am
Your last statement strikes very true, I am always the happiest when I can put money out of my mind and enjoy the moment I am in.
April 6th, 2010 at 9:51 am
Great post – I like the visualization of payday and what it really means.
I had your March, but instead of it being a month, it was 36 months. 36 months of stunning financial success; wealth beyond anything I imagined as a kid. 36 months of gloom and misery – from life in general, as you note, but also from the work I had to do to earn that money, from the lack of time to enjoy, well, anything, and the uneasiness with the excess and the dumb decisions you make when money is no object. My father used to say that the problem with money is that there’s never enough of it. Diddy and BIG said mo’ money, mo’ problems.
On the flip side, I can point to a year on my SS statement where I earned $15K. I was a starving artist in NYC. I’ve never had more fun.
April 6th, 2010 at 11:37 am
Thanks for the comment guys. Q, I think we’ve both know now that a healthy balance is whats needed. There are definitely months where I pile on work after work and at the end of it felt completely burn out, whereby I ended up wasting away for the next few weeks to “recuperate.”
April 6th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
I would like to have months when I did not have to think about money but that is not the case. My husband and I still have 2 kids at home and there is always something. I feel best when I know that I can just get whatever it is they need and not be worrying that a chunk of funds has to come from somewhere else.
I feel great when I know that my son’s next semester of tuition is safely aside and that a major car repair will not need to melt a credit card.
Yes it was rather nice in the first few years of marriage when we were as poor as church mice. Our splurge was getting Chinese food and having a picnic in the middle of the apartment living room floor. But it felt really great to have the money in hand when we decided to move from NH to TX. there was enough for the move and to get ourselves set up in a place where we knew no one.
Money spent well can give you freedom.
April 7th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
thank you for sharing, cap.
April 8th, 2010 at 8:06 am
I fully agree with this thought and is the driving force behind my wife and I’s current sacrifices being made so we can take that next step towards unadulterated bliss. We just paid off the last of our debts, not including the mortgage which we have an aggressive plan to eliminate within 9 years, last Friday. We realized two years ago that we needed to change the way we were doing things because although we were and still are making a modest income (not great but good enough) we felt as though we were simply going through the motions and not really enjoying our two beautiful children so we made a commitment to eliminate our debts (totaling $38,000) so we can focus on what is truly important to us, our kids. The greatest part of this choice we have found free, or next to free, ways to share more time with our kids and although we have made what would be deemed as insane sacrifices by most we have gained a better relationship with our children and managed to save more money and increase our overall net worth. We are now able to give more for causes we truly believe in and assist others who need help getting on the path to their own bliss.
April 8th, 2010 at 10:57 am
Brilliant Post Cap! Love your revelation, and highlight of WHY people are smiling after a paycheck.
Just to understand your situation more, are you essentially a full time blogger and don’t have your normal 9-5 job? Or do you do both? Was the $10,000 just from online, or everything?
Cheers,
Sam
April 8th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
That’s really a heartwarming post man. Now I’m totally curious about March 2009. ;) At any rate, you are right, when we are all together with friends and family, I’m definitely happiest. The support we receive from our loved ones is priceless. But let me tell you what money does help with. When you’re down in the dumps and in a bind that requires a bunch of money to get out of, having the money is a huge thing and definitely less stress. Just imagine — I had to pay $300 to cover one drug I had to take the other day. Glad that I had some money for that! ;)
April 12th, 2010 at 8:47 am
Great name for a BLOG! Need to mention that to my wife. Congrats on the 10k month, thats fantastic. Now you do need to begin budgeting.
April 13th, 2010 at 5:06 pm
Interesting question. Even though I am not exactly a money-grubbing drone, I think, there have been a few times in my life when the knowledge that we were doing well financially did make me happy. Primarily this is due to a sense of security — that if the worst happened, at least I wouldn’t worry about me or my wife scrambling around for enough food to live or a place to sleep. Like you, I did have a period in my life where that was a worry, and long after that, apparently it still interacts with money issues.
I am not worried about that, not concerned that money is consuming my thoughts, because there are lots of other positive things (family, friends, my work life) that provide vastly more of those fondest memories. If that stops, if money was the Only Thing, then I’d be horrified at what life had become.
Balance is all.
April 14th, 2010 at 5:55 am
Sam/Financial Samurai: Yup, I’m essentially a full-time ‘blogger’ (not a really good one but I make do). The amount was from everything and not just online projects/sites (e.g., I do hourly/flat rate contract work for people/companies at times).
Thanks for commenting guys. Again, some degree of balance between working your butt off and enjoying the fruits of your labor is key :)
October 24th, 2010 at 6:11 am
That is exactly it. People desire financial wealth because it means stability. It means being able to forget about money worries and use our time for what we really want to be doing with our lives. This makes money kind of seem like a burden, doesn’t it? It’s that hurdle most people are trying to make it over. There are people who have, literally, more money than they could possibly spend in their lifetime. If you think about it, if money is no object and you can afford anything and everything, it’s basically the same as if everything was free.
April 21st, 2011 at 6:28 am
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