Since we’re on the theme lately: Ever met someone that’s totally materialistic and superficial but has absolutely no qualms about showing it? Just now, at six in the flippin’ morning, I had a flashback to one such person I met in high school.

I was in my Spanish class, taking out my wallet to contribute to the upcoming potluck party—because who can resist real authentic Mexican food from my classmates—when suddenly the girl that sat next to me blurted out:

“Wow, is that a credit card? Awesome!”

And I stared at her, because for the past six months she hasn’t bother to say a single word to me—and now she’s talking to me. This may surprise some of you, but back then I was not the charming, witty, and ridiculously good looking guy that I am today.

“Uh.. no, it’s just an ATM card.” I told the girl.

“Ah I see,” she said disappointedly, but then something else caught her eyes, “Hey wait—is that a driver’s license? You have a car!?”

Sheesh.