Comments on: Should the Guy Always Pay the Bill for Dates?

By: richlo

richlo — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:47:59 +0000

Im dealing with a familiar issue, my girl does NOT pay for anything if its a public thing or simply she will pay if its for her only. In 2 years or close to it, i think she paid for lunch once. I do come from old school about being the best provider but also, I am divorced and paying child support. She knows this, she knows what I make and she seems to not care. The other day she calls me up and ask if I can pick up an order for her for chinese – guess who paid – I DID – she did not even suggest to pay me. I walked in and I told her jokingly (not really) and her brother/sister in law about that they (brother and sis in law) are the cookers and that we are the ORDERES – and she says “I cook” and I said you mean ” I DO” – she hardly cooks even for special events she likes to not do anything and be catered..Im close to wondering if this is the person i want to spend my life with. She does not even consider that I struggle after I have mentioned it. We ate out everday this weekend – Im tired..I cant afford to do that..I love her so much but I cant act like I made of money- I dont even buy food for me and eat sandwhiches to make her and her children happy- complete self sacrifice on my end.

By: Kris

Kris — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 03:48:02 +0000

Personally, I am currently about to enter university and I am currently jobless. In the area that I live unemployment is high and a lot of adults are taking the part time jobs teenagers usually get. Which makes perfect sense to want to hire them first because they have families to feed. In my relationship, that has lasted so far a year, my boyfriend pays for the date 95% of the time. He has a full time job. I have paid for the the tip a few times and i have paid for my meal a few times too. Because I am jobless and heading into a lot of school debts, he understand that I can not afford to pay 99% of the time. Now sometimes he does ask if I can maybe pay the tip or for my share sometimes and if I can I will help him out. I was raised that the guy always pays and then I have friends that feel they should go dutch. But in my relationship, my boyfriend doesn’t mind paying because to him its just another way to treat me and to go have a nice evening with me. Now once I get a job, I will probably start helping out more with the check but there still isn’t anything wrong with a guy treating a girl to a night out.

By: Eboney

Eboney — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 21:15:25 +0000

Loving this post. I was just having this discussion today with some friends of mine. I’ve always shared the responsbility with the guys I’ve dated, short or long term. And now, I’m tired. I’ve recently dated a few men who have been generous and I’ve never had to pull out my wallet. It’s a very nice feeling and I could certainly get used to it. I think that from now, yes, I will let the man pay. I have no problem cooking for him at home or buying dessert or small things but in general, I’ll still with the Biblical principle and let him provide.

By: Claire

Claire — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 03:29:55 +0000

I think if a guy is dating so many women and dating so often that they feel like they’re just losing money those are exactly the guys that I don’t want to be around. I want to feel special. Like he doesn’t do this every night of the week so he’s able and happy to pay. I was on a date recently where we split the check for our otherwise awesome first date and it bothers me how much I’m reading into his lack of investment. It made me instantly suspicious that he was just looking for a hookup and not a relationship. I’ll see him again but have my guard up a little more.

By: JetBlue

JetBlue — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 17:17:42 +0000

It is really disgusting and hypocritical. Women sue at the slightest sign of inequality in the workplace yet they expect the guy to pay everytime. For me its not about the money, I can certainly afford to spend 40-50 bucks on a date. Its about the attitude. A woman who thinks the guy should pay “because he’s a lowly guy and is hugely privileged to be in the company of a decent-looking woman”, has this entitlement attitude that is a turn-off. If I dont get a second date from such a woman I will consider it a good thing, regardless of how hot she is. The “whoever asks first pays” thing is a scam because women never ask. I really dont mind treating and paying 100% for someone I like as long as the woman too is reciprocating once in a while. If not, then she’s “renting” her company or she has this attitude that she is doing me a colossal favor by going out with me. Don’t need that, sorry. Would rather be single forever, and enjoy my life.

By: Jenna

Jenna — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 23:38:45 +0000

I think if a guy wants a second date they should pay .. If they could not afford to take me on a date then we shouldnt be going to an expensive place.. im a pretty simple girl even a picnic or a walk in the park would be great and romantic. But if a guy asks me out to dinner they should definitly pay no questions asked. Of course i will offer to pay but i would hope a guy would say no. For instiance .. One guy (who a friend set me up with) asked me out to dinner so i was talking to my friends stressing out about if hes going to pay or not they said why would you even worry of course he will. The date was goign great .. until the bill came. I asked him how much my share was he replied 10 dollars so i said well i onyl have a 20 i assumed he would say dont worry my treat but instead he replied with “ill give you 10 back” when i told my friends this they wouldnt believe it when i told his friends they were appauled and even called him out on it .. another guy i dated would refuse to let me pay which i found very nice . moral of the story money isnt everything but pickin gup the check is always smiled at and apperchiated

By: Mailman

Mailman — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 17:05:52 +0000

Fuck bitches. Get money.

By: DarkD

DarkD — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 13:21:15 +0000

TO lADY

Actually, a lot of women under 30 do NOT expect men to pay for everything. They REALIZE that the traditions were based on a time when men could be expected to earn more money.

Women in their late 40s and older usually have good reason to expect that men their age will likely have more money than them so it’s understandable for them to stand by the tradition.

It’s the women roughly 35-45 who are big fat hypocrites and expect guys to pay or use some excuse like “the one who asks should pay” but also would NEVER ask. But those women are worthless anyway except for the laughter they offer as they grow old bitter and alone.

By: Lady

Lady — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 13:21:04 +0000

Some of the guys on here sound angry, jaded, and selfish. I am the furthest thing from a materialistic person or gold-digger, and I don’t need a rich man, but IN THE BEGINNING, I like for the man to pay for me and to refuse my money if I offer it. After a few weeks, then I like to pay or treat sometimes. As the more aggressive gender (men approach women much more often than women approach men), the man has more competition to win her over. This is why men have to work a bit harder in the beginning. It’s not about the money but about the effort and show of interest. Plus, men almost always make a lot more money than women do, so it’s fair for them to pay more often even after the first few weeks. To already assume that the relationship will fail and that you shouldn’t pay in the meantime indicates that you aren’t in it for the joy of someone’s company and the hope that it will last. If you think that paying for someone drains your bank account then you don’t understand that relationships are about being one unit–a couple– and that what you do for the other person is done for both of you. You should never count pennies in a relationship. After the early dates, I start buying groceries and wine to cook dinner for my guy, and I surprise him with little purchases that remind me of him. I love treating him to a fun event or dinner out, BUT if he is cheap in the beginning, he will never know how generous I am–with massages, his favorite home-made dessert, you name it–because he won’t make it that far. Many guys ask me out, so why would I choose the one who who makes good money but let’s me split the check on the first date when I can get a guy who pays? It’s all about who makes the best impression AND who seems least obsessed with money issues. If you get mad at having to pay early-on, it becomes an unhealthy festering ‘issue’ for you,breeding your resentment toward women, and women can detect that baggage. We don’t want to be with a man who has bitterness even before the first date.

By: Travel New York

Travel New York — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 02:56:44 +0000

I always offer to pay on the first date but if a guy is grimy enough to actually let me, there wouldn’t be a second date. I don’t drink so meal tabs are usually pretty low so I think that if a guy is so stingy on the first date for a couple of bucks, then it’ll only get worse from there.

By: Mark

Mark — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 09:40:18 +0000

The “whoever asks, pays” logic is tainted because it’s rare that a woman initiates the courtship.

Ladies, it’s 2010. You can pay your own way. I refuse to buy affection. I’m not just referring to sex.

Equality is 50/50, end of story.

Men call you prostitutes for a reason. You exchange companionship for money. You exchange sex for money. Are you trying to get to know your date or his wallet?

Needless to say; I do not date, as no woman would have me. That’s what I get for attempting to treat women as TRUE equals. 50/50 all the way. Apparently women never wanted complete equality.

Men are wising up. Marriage rates have been dropping since 1972 and divorce rates have been increasing. We are on the verge of a major change.

Men are sick and tired of being viewed as a wallet.

By: opinionated

opinionated — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 18:23:54 +0000

I must say, I agree..whoever asks should pay. However, I think the man should pay the bill, but I will always offer to pay for drinks or dessert after dinner ;)

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 04:53:54 +0000

I believe that whoever ask the other otmshould pay the i=entire bill including the tip

By: James Baker

James Baker — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 06:11:58 +0000

This is the 21st century. most of the women posting here are sheer hypocrites when it comes to money.

They want to be paid equally like men do, but when it comes to paying a simple tab, they all of a sudden become “traditional”.

The old school norm of men paying everything did have a place when women DID NOT WORK. That was about 40-50 years ago.

Sorry to tell you that.

A woman that wants to keep her salary intact while forcing a man to spend his on her is nothing but a !%%%#@ golddigger and essentially a whore.

By: Gary

Gary — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 10:17:18 +0000

@Laura: If a woman is trading sex for money that is what prostitution is. There is nothing wrong with applying that word to this situation. If you make a statement claiming that “if a guy wants a nice beautiful girlfriend he HAS TO PAY FOR IT” insinuating that woman shouldn’t PAY or contribute simply because she holds the cards when it comes sex and should only give it to the highest bidder, well that equals = prostitution, sorry if your offended, but I guess the shoe fits at little to well.

As I wrote its 2010 grow up and make more of a contribution instead of expecting men to pony up all the time, its NOT going to last forever :))))))))))

By: Laura

Laura — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 01:37:56 +0000

Hahahaha prostitutes! Is this mature to call someone this way without really knowing them??? I guess this is the only defense a man (or whoever you are) like you can have)))))))))
Be mature and watch your language if you respect the users of this website!

By: Gary

Gary — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 09:49:44 +0000

Dear old fashioned woman aka Laura stop being immature, men do not need TO PAY to have a nice beautiful girl, stop being shallow and materialistic, there are many things a man can do to show his love an affection without having to introduce his wallet. Women who have a princess entitlement mentality like you are nothing but prostitutes, this 2010 grow up, and accept being equal for god sake!

That will be all ;)

By: Laura

Laura — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 21:39:32 +0000

Dear modern man, if you feel like you are wasting your money on her and don’t want to pay every time you go out with her, then you don’t love her, (and maybe it’s her fault, i don’t know). If you love someone (or really like them), you want to pay for spending a good time with them. I am in an established relationship now, but when i was just dating I went out with a guy and he paid for the first date and on the second date he expected me to pay, i felt like my feminine inner and outer beauty went to waste with this jerk, and I NEVER went out with him again! Want a nice, beautiful and caring girl – pay for it!

By: Johnnyboy

Johnnyboy — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 18:44:08 +0000

Relationships always end bad OR continue forever but sucking. Therefore i am selfish and the money i earn i spend it with myself, she can pay for hers. I dont offer, and if she doesnt i say “you wanna split it?” Wanna a second date, ok. If not get the hell out i dont need you draining my account.

By: Patti C

Patti C — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 05:08:48 +0000

Back when I dated, I often dated guys who made a bunch more money than I did.

I let them pay, but I would often tip and they were quite happy with that.