Comments on: Should the Guy Always Pay the Bill for Dates?

By: Ugly_girl

Ugly_girl — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:45:26 +0000

I struggle with who pays for what… the economic situation between myself and the guy I’m dating is huge…He can afford things and pay for me to do things that I simply cannot afford, so I don’t offer to pay because I’m not in a position to. I do take a decent bottle of wine and chocolate he likes when I go to his place and I have paid for us when I have invited him somewhere but mostly he pays… It’s difficult and sometimes I feel guilty…

By: leb

leb — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 21:42:23 +0000

I am 50 yrs old, and for me, it just feels good to be able to enjoy time with a woman and expect nothing in return . I gladly pay for dinner, because it a true character and respect that has slowly diminished a man/ woman relationship.Be what God intended us to be.not the world.

By: Selina

Selina — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 03:20:49 +0000

I think it really just depends on the situation and the people involved. I think it just varies from date-to-date, you know?

I don’t think it’s proper at any point for the guy to ask the girl to pay, or the girl ask the guy for that matter.

By: Zaeli

Zaeli — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:35:58 +0000

I do believe that the guy should have the attitude of always wanting to pay if he really likes a girl and is pursuing her. I don’t think he should ever ask the girl to pay.

But I also believe that the girl should contribute and offer to pay the bill every once in a while–maybe every 4th time. But the guy should pay most of the time.

By: starlite

starlite — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 04:58:27 +0000

hmm thomas she might just be wanting some attention…and free food isnt a bad thing haha.. as for who picks up the tab it just depends on the couple.. i know for me its usualy just whoever feels like paying and is usualy a trade off. if i pay this time he’ll pay next time

By: Thomas

Thomas — Fri, 22 May 2009 21:22:27 +0000

I have hung out with a girl for 3 weeks now, I am the aggressor, always asking her out and she never refuses. I have gladly paid for every meal and have asked her over to my place for a very rainy weekend, which of course, I will buy-prepare-and cook. Is this girl using me, shy, or just enjoys me spending time with her. I have yet to kiss her, nor have I even been close,,,ha ha whats the deal?

By: July

July — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:30:54 +0000

The friggin guy should always pay!! Believe me the woman will be cleaning up his mess later.

By: Ken

Ken — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 15:27:50 +0000

In my opinion I think the guy ends up paying more than 80% of the time when going out anyways but for a woman to expect a guy to pay for everything is simply unreasonable in this day and age. People should pay because they want to, not because they feel they have to and it is that obligation and expectation that can seriously ruin an otherwise good relationship. I give you an example where I dated this woman for 2.5 months and where she expected me to pick up everything, tip included, when going out. At first it didn’t bother me but by the second month it set off alarm bells and where i felt that since she had money as well, she could also afford to treat me. The breaking point was one date where we were supposed to go to a show at HER invite and where she expected me to take her to dinner beforehand and pay for it! We ended up at a bar/lounge instead and although I only a $6 glass of wine, she had a meal and felt it necessary to force me to pay for my glass and the tip! Then sulked all evening afterwards making me feel like crap! This coming from a woman who claimed to love and care about ‘us’ as a couple?! Relationships can sink on this stuff and sadly so did ours. Talk about it and get it out in the open…if you’re okay with idea of bankrolling the shot then go for it. If not, find a mate that sees things your way. Best of luck :)

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 05:27:27 +0000

I think it’s outrageous to expect guys to pay the whole time. I would never let someone pay for my meals. It doesn’t matter whether a guy makes $100K+ a year or works at a part time job with an hourly wage of $5.50. I would always pay my share or (offer to) treat him if I’d asked him out in the first place.

By: CJ

CJ — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 17:16:53 +0000

What a bunch of crap…lmao I see the woman that post their comments and say it is the guy’s responsibility to pay the bill. I am trying to date and this is the problem I am running into. I meet woman on chat sites and dating sites and they are real interested in getting to know me and I like to get to know them also. But the problem comes down to it I almost have to be a millionaire to take these woman out all the time. I ask if you like to meet for a drink or cup of coffee to see if we have some chemistry and the next thing I know they are ordering dinner and getting drunk and then when the bill comes they do not even offer to help pay the bill. I could go on a separate date every night of the week but because of the cost involved taking them out it becomes outrageous on paying the bill all the time. Once you order drinks and they order dinner I get a bill at the end for 60 to 80 bucks that came out of my pocket. If these woman want to be so liberated then they should split the bill on the first date that way at least they have something invested. I am not their free lunch ticket and how am I suppose to know if they are even serious about getting to know me better if they cannot even invest in the date or even ask me out for a drinks or dinner. I have dated many woman and out of maybe a 100 I would say only one or two have even offered to pay for part of the bill and then out of that not one has ever offered to take me out even if we do go on a second date, they still expect me to pay for it. So my big question is do I stop dating and save the money or how do I approach them and ask them we are going dutch or if they want to pay for it? Any help would be appreciated.

By: Maveth

Maveth — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 02:07:38 +0000

The reasonable response is if its an invitation, you pay, regardless of dating or non-dating status. If you ask them if they would like to accompany you without intending to pay for them, you should say, “Would you like to come with us? We can split the check.” Don’t leave it up to osmosis. Although, to be honest, date or not, I always go with the assumption that when invited I’m paying for myself. When I invite someone, I make it clear if I’m paying or not. I dig the me Tarzan, you Jane stuff, but money is rough for everybody, and even if they act like they swim in a pool of it everyday, I assume that they really don’t intend to pay every time.

By: Lina

Lina — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 15:48:08 +0000

A guy should always pay! :)

By: Kellie

Kellie — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 23:46:30 +0000

A guy always paying begins to look tired and it makes the woman look like an incapable and lazy gold digger, and there is nothing attractive about that. Both should be contributing to each other as if you’re investing in each other. It’s not a one way street. And Emily don’t quote Bible things on here either, that’s offensive. This isn’t the stone age anymore.

By: Tyler

Tyler — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 23:43:24 +0000

The reason guys used to pay when going out was because women traditionally didn’t work. Times have changed, they do work now and should be splitting the bill evenly or paying every now and then as well.

By: guest

guest — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:57:44 +0000

simple: if a guy won’t pay,or offer to pay, he won’t get a second date.

By: voyvodich

voyvodich — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 19:16:06 +0000

i think the guy should pay, BUT the girl should offer to contribute. it only seems fair.

By: anonymous

anonymous — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:08:31 +0000

I asked a guy out (he would buy bagels from the deli I worked in in Chicago). He was a little bit older (I was about 20, he >25), would stop by in business suits…we went out to dinner/drinks and when the bill came I made a grab for it and told him I was definitley going to pay so that he would be obliged to “put out”. He seemed shocked, in a good way, and he INSISTED that he pay. And he put out! But seriously, he was a gent and let me say to the guys, it may be a crap shoot (she flakes out and you feel used) but if you make the gesture you are on such better ground than all this silly awkwardness/mind games. If you pay and expect something in return and make her feel awkward, forget it, but play it cool and good things will eventually come.

By: savergirl

savergirl — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:17:36 +0000

It’s not just about being independent, though that’s a part of it. I don’t want to get into a situation where there are weird expectations or I feel like a jerk because I didn’t find myself that attracted to him and he’s feeling like he didn’t get what he paid for out of the evening.

You said this much better than I could Kat. For the first few dates I’m definitely a fan of paying for myself, just like I drive myself there and back. No confusion, or mixed signals.

After that it can all change though. :)

By: Annie

Annie — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:02:39 +0000

Kat Says:
“And to the poster above who apparently expects all guys, including her friend’s boyfriend, to buy her drinks? Grow up! Buying drinks for a girl is a flirting behavior, so of course he wasn’t going to do that when he’s dating your friend! If you’re out with a group of people socially, you should either buy a round now and then or pay for your own. I feel your pain since I’m also usually the one with the cheapest drink, but seriously, your gender doesn’t give you the right to freeload. :(”

Thanks for the repremand, mom- but I never said I expect guys to buy me drinks, not even him. He walked in the bar, bought the round and handed it to us. My husband was not with us that night. I forgot to note that I handed him the $3 for my own drink when I declined spending $17 + tip on something that would only cost me $9 + smaller tip. I didn’t drink another drink that night and went home completely sober and pissed off. I always pay for my own drinks unless a man brings me one IN A NON FLIRTING MANNER because we are all friends. My point was the no matter the man- be it my hubby, his buddy, my brother, a guy friend, or a friends man… this was the first guy in my WHOLE LIFE that asked me to “Get him back” and it was offensive to me. And of all the men who have paid for the drinks, I never once asked for them to. I don’t expect it, but it’s nice when a man is a genleman and is just NICE!

By: Emily

Emily — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 11:41:17 +0000

Recent, I completely agree. Which is why I never ask(ed) for a date. Guy’s job.