Through the years I have come across two types of mindset when it comes to money matters.

I’m sure there are more than two types, but that’ll just make this compare and contrast longer than necessary, plus it’ll be a lot more work. So er… no thanks.

Type A Extreme:

“Hey hey Jim!” I said to an acquaintance, as I bumped into him one day. “How’s senior year in high school treating ya?”

“Hi Cap. Things are swell!” Jim the 18 year-old happily replied. “Listen, I’ve been thinking about rolling my 401K into my Fidelity ROTH IRA. You got any inputs on that? I might be missing something.”

“Ah… I thought you just work at McDonald’s…”

“Never too early to start saving!” Jim exclaimed.

“Right…” What a weird kid.

“Say, did you know that Fannie Mae has consistently outperformed the market? Of course that wasn’t till the 20th century.” Jim continues, “Speaking of which, boy those flash memory sure are getting popular. It’s looking pretty hot huh? You never know, SNDK or LEXR might be the next best bet.”

“Uh…” He lost me. The heck’s he talking about?

“Still, the real sure bet is to just stick with those index funds and ETFs. No actively managed funds for me, no sir. Those are usually just too much of a rip off in fees.”

“Mmmkay.” Damn high school kids and their street talks.

“Anyway, think you can give me a ride to work?” Jim asked.

“Sure, no problem. Hook me up with some McNuggets?” I asked.

Type Z Extreme:

So after I dropped Jim off at McDonald’s, I bumped into another acquaintance of mine in the parking lot, Bob. Bob “works” for a MLM company.

“Hey hey Cap!” yelled Bob as he ran up to my car.

“Uh… hi.” Damn.

“Listen, do me a favor?” Bob asked me through the car window. “I need a ride to this business opportunity meeting. Tell ya what, if you take me there… I’ll let you attend for free.”

At that point I just wanted to run Bob over and get on with my day, but Bob still owes me $60.

“How bout you just give me that $60 you borrow a few years ago and we’ll call it even?”

“Aw come on!” Bob pleaded. “How bout this, I’mma tell you about this other great money making idea of mine. It takes a bit to explain so let me draw it out for ya.” He pulled a piece of paper out of thin air.

“Now, this diagram may look a bit like a pyramid, but don’t you worry this isn’t a pyramid scheme.”

“Hey you know, I’m pretty busy today so I really got to go…”

“Aw come on, you know I’ll get rich soon enough, and when that happens you’ll be glad you took me to this meeting.” Bob said as he continues to work on that diagram of his.

“Sorry but I really have to go- ” I told him.

“Hey wait.” He stopped me and sniffed. “What’s that smell?”

Damn.

“Are those McNuggets?” Bob asked. “Oh hey wow. That’s quite a lot of ‘em! Can I have a box or two?”

So I ran Bob over and got on with my day. He probably would have never returned the $60 he borrowed from me anyway, so it’s not a big deal.

Ah… McNuggets.

Yum.