Earlier last week, my grandmother’s house had some minor snafu.. appearantly her room somehow got flooded with water (some pipes broke), so she stayed for awhile at my uncle’s and soon after, a few days at my house with me and my mother.

During all of this, the issue of what’s best for my grandmother came up, and a series of arguement ensued from aunts and uncles that unfortunately never liked each other very much. They had a vast difference in opinions on how to take care of my grandmother, most of which are financially based.

My grandmother’s 91 years old now and she lives in a 3 bedroom 2 bath townhouse with my Aunt B and Uncle B. The townhouse is owned by Aunt A. She charges my grandmother, Aunt & Uncle B $1100 per month for rent. I don’t think it’s too terrible of a price for a house like that in Southern California. (Can’t remember the exact sq.ft) I believe she ends up paying more out of her own pocket to cove the tax & other expenses associated with the property.

Problem is, Uncle C (another uncle), thinks that Aunt A is charging my grandmother, Aunt & Uncle B too much. He also thinks that the place is too dirty (previous tenant never took care of it well) and that my Aunt A should take care of the property better. Thus the broken water pipe resurface many differences.

So yeah. Well, um… there really isn’t an ending to this story, as it’s still an ongoing issue. But bare with me as I try to get to what I’m writing about.

My grandmother doesn’t have many choices in where she lives and who takes care of her. At this age, most of the choices are done by her children, my aunts and uncles (and my mom of course). I’m not really sure what my mom wants when she hits a certain age, so it was a good opportunity for me to open up some dialogue with her about the whole retirement issue.

Awhile back I was reading an interesting article from the WSJ, entitled “The Parent Trap” it talked about many issues that children faces with their aging parents. Many times the aging parent fears losing control over their own lives, while at other times, the children can get too controling. The article made lots of suggestions on how to prevent getting in the trap, one of which was to open up discussion as soon as possible. (I actually saved the article for future reference, but I seem to have misplaced it. Do’h!)

Anyway, I talked a bit with my mother (who’s now in her mid 50) about what her retirement plans were. This was probably one of the first few serious (although short) conversations we have as two adults (I’m 22, btw). I find that as I get older, my parents do divulge a bit more about their own financial information. Maybe it’s because I’m not really a kid anymore (sorta).

Although the talk never really went anywhere solid, I’m glad that I at least have some glimpse of what her plans and wishes are. I still haven’t talked to my dad yet (who lives oversea), but he does read my blog occasionally… (haha) so if you’re reading this dad and I still haven’t somehow brought it up yet in my emails.. I apologize for the indirect approach.

I really wish I was typing up this whole thing so I can offer some insight and suggestion.. but to be honest, I really don’t have a clue on what to do. That doesn’t mean I’ll just sit back and ignore it though. One thing I do know for sure is that if you ignore this issue and let it drag on, it will only become more difficult and complicated to handle later on.