As much I as try to pretend to be a savvy consumer and all that, the truth is I’m everything but. The thing that gets to me the most are the bells and whistles of a product.

Bells and whistles:

Nonessential features or enhancements intended especially to add commercial appeal.

You’ll find these especially on electronic products. You know, that extra bullet on the box of features.

Television #1

  • The television set
  • Remote
  • User manual
  • Compatible with most accessories
 Television #2

  • The television set
  • Picture-in-picture
  • Picture-in-picture IN the picture-in-picture
  • Easy Setup Poster
  • User Manual
  • Troubleshooting Manual
  • Customer Service Manual
  • XYZ Virtual Speakers
  • ABC Ultra Flat Screen Technology
  • EFG Vibrant Color Technology
  • 125 buttons universal remote control
  • JKL approved design
  • Supports 60,000+ channels
  • More plugs in the back than you need
  • Even more plugs in the front
  • Did we mention picture-in-picture?
  • Supports headphones too!
  • Still reading?
  • Um… endorsed by the guy on the box?

As mentioned, I’m a sucker for the list of features. When I shop for computer hardware, I find myself paying “just a little bit more” for that extra list of features. I’ll even end up recommending hardware to people just because of the extra features.

“Yup you really should get that.” I would say to my imaginary friend.

“Why? It cost more.”

“Yeah, but it has ____!! Plus, it’s just a little bit more.”

“Hmm, but I really don’t think I’ll ever use that.”

“Look, you’re my imaginary friend so just do what I tell you to do!”

In some instances, the bells and whistles can of course be an actual useful enhancement. When I bought a graphics card for the computer a long time ago, I choose one with a TV Out capability (so I can port the display to a television set). It wasn’t a widely useful function back then, but as the software caught up to the hardware, I find myself using the feature more and more. Today, TV Out capability is a pretty standard feature on most computer graphics card.

Many of times though, the bells and whistles will be nonessential crap. If you have no idea what that feature does, and you have to ask the salesman what it is, you probably don’t need it. If you find yourself questioning the need for that feature, you probably don’t need it too. Because let’s face it, you don’t need a digital camera with voice activation capability.

“Camera, ON!”

Hmm… actually, that would be kinda cool.